Reflect

Yes, Camille... Threatening to de-friend me does produce a blog. What power you have! You could take over the world!!!! Now normally I like my posts to be fun and entertaining but this will be the exception.

December was an emotional month. There are some things to need to be said about it.

My father: I loved him and I am sorry there is some strange flaw in me that prevented me from saying it to him. But I did love him. The visit before he passed Mom told me how everyone was coming in and holding his hand and giving him kisses, telling him they love him. But no one ever acted that way before. Mom said it was driving him crazy "we are not that kind of family". I know my father knew I loved him. True, we fought nearly every time we saw each other. Over stupid things, I would never back down to him. My poor mother would try to provide some logical solution, but it was all about the argument. I don't think we wanted to resolve anything. He proudly told all his friends about my life, they told me so at his visitation. So even though he never told me he loved me, I know he did! I hate that he suffered so terribly for the last few years. I hate that I was not there to help more. ( Even though I know he didn't want me to be there more, he didn't want anyone to see what had become of him.) He is in a better place.

The Fast Green Bike: My beloved bicycle was stolen in mid December. It makes me very sad, it was the best bike ever. So I suppose this blog has now become a tribute to its memory. I guess if a person is willing to stoop so low as to steal a bike off of my own patio they need it much more than myself. Karma WILL catch up to them someday. I am a firm believer in that!

Mike: Mike is amazing to me. He has taught me so much about my own emotions. I never thought I would find someone that would love me like he does. I am so in love with him, and guess what? We tell each other EVERY DAY! It is interesting what we have done for each other. I have steered his life down a different path. I am the one stable thing that he always knows will be there for him. He has taught me it is okay to be emotional, tell him I love him, tell him I'm angry, tell him anything but don't hold it in. We will be getting married on April 18, 2009 and I can't wait to spend my life with him!

Enough of all this! There will be more entertaining blogs to come...